The phrase "hit where one lives" means to hurt someone personally or deeply. There are many antonyms or opposite words for this phrase depending on the context, such as "miss the mark," "spare one's feelings," or "avoid upsetting someone." In some cases, the opposite of "hit where one lives" may be "take the high road," which means to choose a more principled or mature course of action. Another antonym might be "constructive criticism," which involves pointing out areas for improvement in a respectful way rather than attacking someone personally. Ultimately, the choice of antonym will depend on the situation and the speaker's intentions.